Recently, I’ve been reflecting on something I’ve started seeing in clients with whom I’m using the Adaptability Quotient (AQ) assessment – a tool I’ve written about a few times recently (check out my last few blogs for a deep dive). These clients score exceptionally high on Grit in their AQ assessments; what you’d expect from people who have climbed to success through unwavering determination. Yet some have expressed a concern: their relentless drive seems to be undermining their resilience.

This paradox has me thinking: How many of us have fallen into this same trap? When does our greatest strength become our limiting factor?

The Double-Edged Sword of Determination

We live in a culture that celebrates grit. Angela Duckworth’s research has shown us that this combination of passion and perseverance for long-term goals often outperforms talent, and even IQ, in predicting success. People with high grit are typically described as determined hard workers who don’t give up easily, treating setbacks as challenges to overcome through commitment and effort.

But what we don’t talk about enough is that grit can become a prison. When we’re so focused on grinding through obstacles, we can lose sight of whether we’re climbing the right mountain. We become so invested in our chosen path that we ignore warning signs – like burnout, strained relationships, declining health – or better opportunities that require us to pivot.

The Goal Hierarchy Trap

Grit applied to higher-level goals like your core purpose, your values, and your long-term vision can be very powerful. It gives you the stamina to endure hardship and maintain commitment when the going gets tough.

But grit applied to lower-level goals is where things get dangerous. When we fall in love with the solution instead of the problem, we lose flexibility. We become resistant to feedback that could improve our performance or help us adjust our approach. We miss opportunities that could lead to greater success because we’re too focused on the path we’ve chosen.

This is what happens when we apply our considerable grit to tactics and methods rather than our broader vision. We persevere through strategies that are no longer serving us, burning ourselves out in the process, and ultimately undermining our ability to bounce back – our resilience.

You Can’t Inhale and Exhale at the Same Time

Here’s what I’ve discovered in my coaching practice: grit and growth mindset aren’t opposing forces; they’re a polarity within what is called the AQ Ability dimension. Like inhaling and exhaling, they don’t work in opposition, but in rhythmic tension, creating growth that is adaptable, durable and dynamic. I’ve written about the power of mastering polarities too.

Using an analogy of breathing, when you inhale, you’re not fighting the exhale, and vice versa. Each phase serves the whole … life!. This is how grit and growth mindset should work together; the magic is in their dynamic balance. Grit keeps you committed to your purpose while a growth mindset allows you to adapt to the path when the terrain changes, when you hit obstacles, or when you discover better routes to your destination.

Many high achievers get stuck in a perpetual inhale – all grit, all the time. They’re holding their breath, so to speak, never allowing the exhale of growth mindset to bring in fresh perspectives and adaptive thinking. No wonder they feel exhausted and less resilient.

Mastering the Rhythmic Balance

So how do we create a balance between grit and growth mindset?

First, get crystal clear on your purpose  – your deeper why. This is where your grit should anchor. Be committed to your values, your vision, your meaningful contribution to the world. Let this be your North Star that doesn’t waver.

Next, hold your methods lightly – this is where a growth mindset thrives. Build in regular reflection points where you ask:

• Is your path still serving your purpose? 
• What are you learning? 
• What feedback is the world giving you? 
• What might you be missing by staying on this course?

There are times to dig in with grit, like when you’re facing temporary setbacks, when others doubt your vision, or when the work gets hard but you know you’re on the right track. And there are times to breathe with a growth mindset, like when you’re getting repeated feedback that something isn’t working, when new opportunities emerge, or when you recognize your approach needs evolution.

True Leadership Mastery

The most adaptive and resilient leaders move between the inhale of grit and the exhale of a growth mindset with conscious awareness. And it’s not just about surviving change; it’s about using change as fuel for growth while not losing sight of what truly matters.

True leadership mastery lies in this dynamic balance. Sometimes the most determined thing you can do is pivot. Sometimes the most growth-oriented thing you can do is stay the course. Wisdom lies in knowing which rhythm the moment requires.