What happens when we don’t trust someone we’re told we should?

‘Trust transfer’ is the process by which trust in one person, brand, or entity is extended to another based on an existing relationship. It’s a powerful psychological concept that shapes decision-making in both personal and professional settings. It plays a crucial role in building networks, influencing consumer behaviour, and strengthening organizational partnerships.

In the business world, if a trusted company endorses a new partner, customers are more likely to extend their trust to that new company. Similarly, when an individual is introduced by a mutual, trusted friend, they are likely to be perceived as more credible, competent, or reliable, even if they’re a stranger.

Let’s Hear From The Experts

Part of what I love about what I do are the people I meet, work with, and learn from. Two such people are Ila Edgar and Charles Feltman. I rely on them for their expertise on the limitless topic of trust. Each runs their own trust-focused businesses, coaching leaders and organizations on building stronger trust. Charles is author of The Thin Book of Trust, recently releasing a third edition and together, they co-host a podcast that I can’t get enough of – Trust on Purpose.

Their most recent episode digs deep into the idea of trust transfer. Their discussion hit deep because, in my work, people who know and trust me refer me as a coach and facilitator to people who don’t know me and don’t yet trust me all the time; it’s often how I get new business. And I frequently receive referrals from people I trust to others who I don’t know and don’t yet trust.

What Happens When We Don’t Trust?

Trust transfer isn’t automatic; we’re all human, after all. It relies heavily on the strength of the existing relationship and the credibility of the original trusted source. And trust can be fragile. If the originating person or entity loses credibility, this may also negatively impact the perception of the new party.

Sometimes we have reason to hesitate. Maybe we know something about the other person/entity that causes us to distrust them. This very scenario has recently bitten me and I’ve been struggling with it. While I’ve trusted an individual in the past, their recent assumption that I will trust a third party because “I trust them, so you should too,” doesn’t sit right with me. I’m not confident that this individual has my best interests at heart, and is taking advantage of past trust to assume I will be okay with anything they recommend or request. The reality is that I do have hesitation about trusting the third party and I’m feeling uncared for; dismissed; not considered. Ick.

One thing I know for sure is that nothing good comes from a knee jerk reaction to something that makes us feel badly. So, I’m pausing to think through the scenario; look at it from all sides and ensure that I’m being fair in my assessment of the situation and intentions of all parties. I’m not yet clear on a resolution, but I felt compelled to write about it.

I’m curious if you’ve found yourself feeling uncertain like I am right now. Any advice? Send me a note below.