From terror to excitement

Mid-point, mid-career, mid-life … crisis? Crisis might be dramatic for some (for some, it’s real), but I think most people naturally start to reflect more and take stock of their life up to this “midpoint,” and look ahead, anxious about what is left to come.

There is huge value in reflection and intentionality if you are seeking fulfillment in your life. Both are things I encourage my clients to do all the time; pause, look back at what you have done, decisions you have made, what you have learned, and then look forward to re-evaluate your default decisions and behaviours, perhaps make different decisions, and definitely live more intentionally.

This is uncomfortable

Looking back can be alarming – unrealized dreams, unmet expectations, missed opportunities, mistakes – and even scarier to look forward – what the heck am I going to do with the rest of my life? But if we keep our heads in the sand, we end up letting life push us around and may end up in places that don’t serve us. It is far more fulfilling to take life by the proverbial horns and be in control of our future.

This is exciting

It’s time to turn that frown upside down and reframe “the rest of your life” as exciting, rather than terrifying. Pausing to reflect and make intentional decisions about your future allows you to seize (or create) opportunities – maybe even things you hadn’t considered before. It’s prime time to look deep inside yourself and decide what really matters. Then take steps to make the rest of your life one that you can be proud of and happy with.

It’s not that easy

I realize it’s not that simple. Considering the future can be overwhelming amid the complexity of your life. The demands and pressures you’re under right now – family, work, other commitments – take up most of your brain power and energy. But pausing to create mental space for wondering what’s next and planning for it is well worth it.

6 Questions to ask yourself when taking stock of your midlife

Chip Conley, founder of the Modern Elder Academy and author of Learning to Love Midlife: 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better with Age, and Ebony Joyce, founder of Next Level Career Services, offer these questions that might help you look back and look forward without having heart palpitations:

1. What will I regret not having done or learned 10 years from now?
   – What are you curious about? What experiences do you want to have?
   – Scuba diving, anyone? How about entrepreneurship? Maybe a different career direction altogether?
   
2. How do I tap into my purpose?
   – Were your early ambitions eclipsed by external pressures like parental expectations or societal norms of “success?”
   – What is meaningful work to you now? What excites you?
   
3. What mastery or gift have I developed that I can offer to the world?
   – What is your superpower? Seriously. What are you really good at?
   – What have you learned that you can offer to others?
   – Tip: ask yourself “What business are you in?” five times in a row with each successive question helping you refine and focus your response to identify your real strengths.
   
4. What do I want my days to look like?
   – Set goals and ambitions aside for a minute and get to the micro level by considering what you want the details of your daily routines to look like.
   
5. What trade-offs am I willing to make – or no longer willing to make?
   – Life changes and so do our priorities; maybe it’s time to prioritize your personal life over your career, or maybe you have more time for your career now because kids are out of the house.
   – What are your values and priorities today?
   
6. What’s getting better about my life?
   – Getting older is hard. Rather than dwell on them, shift your mindset to appreciate the upsides – wisdom, experiences, personal growth – “If you show up with curiosity and passionate engagement, people will notice your energy, not your wrinkles.” – Chip Conley